Moving in Stereo

A lot of things keep me up at night. Whether global problems, war, rape murder, politics, school, grades, work piling up, how your ex got with the guy she told you not to worry about, or other global strife and personal crap. Worst of all for me, is a problem that goes undetected to 99% of the populace. This problem could be fixed so easily, it’s so simple, it’s stupid. It drives me insane. We live in a first world country where so many things are common, where you can do whatever you want, and be whoever you want to be. But this is still a rampant problem. It disturbs me a little bit, how a problem so solvable still beats on through our society, and how the everyday person can just ignore, or dare I say, be willfully ignorant. Ladies and gentleman, I’ve only seen 2 people in person get this right, me, and the people who have introduced this to me. I have had so many sleepless nights asking myself, “WHY OH WHY CAN PEOPLE NEVER PLACE THEIR SPEAKERS PROPERLY”. 

Music, for some it’s an annoyance (idk how), for some it’s just background noise you enjoy, that sets your mood, and finally for some, it’s their life. The readers of this have absolutely met a guy like me. The kinda guy who plays guitar, listens to records, and “totally listens to this great band you should listen to, it changed my life”, and the only reason you know this is cuz they just showed up to the party 5 minutes ago and had to tell everyone. But I know I’m different. How? Because I’d be willing to bet the farm that I actually have my speakers properly set up. Now you’re reading this going okay “why does he keep bringing up speaker placement how much difference can it make?” The most serious I will be during this article is this next statement, you haven’t heard music until you’ve heard it on good (not to be confused with expensive) speakers, set up properly. It’s the difference between putting on Blonde on Blonde by Bob Dylan, and just listening, vs putting it on and hearing Bob Dylan in the room singing to you. 

It’s true you can get your favourite songs to sound like the artist is performing in the room just for you. Most people put their speakers wherever they feel they can in their room. Okay whatever you wanna have music in your room and not everyone has the perfect room I get it. But you can do some amazing easy things. The biggest misconception most people have to music and speakers is that the speakers sound like they push sound out the front of them. In the perfect audio setup everything will sound like it’s happening behind your speakers, on a sort of stage in your room. Your speakers should completely disappear, and when you get it right it is the trippiest thing you will ever hear. Like I said it would be whatever you listen to right in front of you, 3d. The best way to do this (in the ideal room but you can see how you can do some of these things yourself to get better sound at home later) is to follow the 1/3rd rule, where your speakers should be pulled out about in placed parallel about 1/3rd of the room from the wall, ideally it a short rectangular room with a rug (again later). Place the speakers anywhere from 4-12 feet apart depending on speakers and room.Depending on your speakers (bookshelves or floorstanding) you may need speaker stands because the tweeter should be ear level. An then quickly take care of the point of first reflection (this article is too long watch PS Audio's video about it if you really care). Basically what this does is when you're in the sweet spot create a sound where the two speakers sound waves reach your ears with a perfect crossfeed, and let's say a singer mixed to the centre will sound like it's coming from behind the middle of the speakers, because the sound waves reach your brain at the same time your brain interprets it perfectly in front of it, in between the speakers. This is where the true beauty of stereo mixes come in, where it can sound like they are truly in the room with you, and MONO, well DO NOT GET ME STARTED BECAUSE ITS THUMPIN. Listen loud, listen proud, and everything you throw at a setup will sound perfect, mostly normal bass, so bassheads get a sub (most people are bassheads and don’t know it). 

It’s all not too complicated, but I can’t explain too well, but if anyone has questions or rejects this thesis I will tell them to take it up with ME. Basically if you can grab one thing from this article, pull your speakers out from your wall a decent amount, even a couple feet makes the difference, and position them properly parallel. I have seen people have $3000 dollar speakers and position them far apart, against the wall right speaker right infront of you, left on the left side of the room facing in to make the most fucked up scalene triangle I have ever seen. I can’t believe I have to say this one guys, but keep your speakers on the same fucking level. I dated a chick who had a gorgeous fluance turntable (she copied mine, now I need a transcriptor, thorens 124, or an audio research deck), and these beautifully matching powered klipsch speakers. The built in phono preamp was pure garbage on the speakers, I knew something was up the moment I first heard it, it was badly obvious, mushy bass, blanket covered midrange, and probably nothing above 4000 hertz. She never did get a proper one, but to add insult to all this she positioned her lovely klipsch’s on a COMPLETELY different level one way higher than the other. I didn’t dump her for her audio setup, but I'd be lying if I said I never sometimes wish I did. Don’t be a poser, don’t spend money on expensive audio gear just because it looks good, because it can actually sound crazy crazy fucking excellent if you do it right. Your speaker placement doesn’t have to follow the crazy 1/3rd rule, but Parallel, same level, pointed in a bit, apart a good distance, pulled a couple feet from the wall. If you can manage to pull all that off? Congratulations good audio, sit back and enjoy. If you do it and it doesn’t work or sound good you did it wrong, you stupid idiot.